Jenny Mano Price Jenny Mano Price

On the Shoulders of Mothers


On the Shoulders of Mothers

It was an early winter evening of 1958 in a small village in South Korea. A new mother was carrying her infant daughter in the snow. The infant was wrapped in blankets strapped to her back. She had no money for formula and her breastmilk had dried up. Hopeful to find help, she journeyed to a nearby village in search of another new mother, her friend.

My grandmother, the new mother with the child on her back, continued towards the nearby village, aware of the risks to her and her newborn child. The infant girl, my mother, was in poor shape from the harsh weather and lack of food. My grandmother was unable to find her friend that night but was able to find another woman nursing a baby, whom she’d never met.

Pure luck or God’s plan, this stranger helped nourish and keep my mother alive that snowy night in South Korea in 1958.

* * *

After my grandmother’s death in 1996, a neighbor around the same age as my grandmother was a source of comfort for my grieving mother. I was only 10, but I noticed how important it was for this woman to step as a mother. I haven’t seen this woman since, but grateful for the help she gave my family.

* * *

There is something truly sobering about holding an infant outside of your body. I labored all night and didn’t sleep for 2 more days following the birth of my son. To say motherhood rocked me would have been an understatement. Exhaustion has a crazy effect on the body, mind, and soul. I lied in my hospital bed on the 3rd night, as if having an out of body experience, thinking I couldn’t press forward. Why was I here? I’m not prepared for this. My bones felt exhausted. I cried out to God, “I can’t do this.” I am grateful for this humbling introduction to motherhood. However, I won’t forget that brief feeling of wanting to run away from it all.

Going home wasn’t any easier. I contracted mastitis twice in 6 weeks and it was worse than the morning sickness, laboring or birth. I was weak. I wasn’t getting enough sleep and started to feel a black deep hole in my soul opening. I was on the edge of postpartum depression.

A seasoned mother I knew also was familiar with this black hole. She too had seen this deep pit. This mother told me of her challenges as a young mother (30+ years ago) and gave me words of wisdom and encouragement. It was through her vulnerability and honesty, I was able to find comfort in knowing I wasn’t alone.

Her words of encouragement prevented me from falling into that black hole. Weeks became months and thankfully that pit got smaller.

* * *

Winters in South Korea are harsh, especially in the interior of the country where temperatures drop below freezing. The next day my grandmother was able to find her friend who helped nurse my mother until she was able to find work and pay for formula. Another selfless mother stepped in to help my grandmother.

* * *

It was those first months of motherhood, I realized it takes a village of mothers to support a mother. It’s these mothers who give loving helpful advice, bring food and encouragement as you embark on the new journey of motherhood. It’s your mother who cooks you dinner and holds your baby, so you can rest.

I see the importance of having a community of mothers you can depend on. Motherhood can be a minefield of conflicting parenting styles, opinions, and pride. My independent and strong grandmother struggled with the inability to produce milk for her baby girl. I’m certain she felt the utmost gratitude for that mother, I know my mother and I do.

My grandmother’s story reminds me to let go of pride and insecurities. It has taught me that it’s ok to ask for help and to allow mothers the freedom and flexibility to choose what’s best for their families. I learned the value in asking others for help as well as the importance of making myself available to help others. Doing so allows us to realize our true potential as mothers. In the end, a baby gets fed, a grieving mother finds comfort and a mother fights depression. And both a mother and child flourishes.